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Mother’s Day Fun | Catholic Life

Mother’s Day Fun

Before mass started the priest approached us and started talking to Josh about whether he was still doing the sort of work where he could live anywhere, and whether it was really my job that was keeping us from moving back to the area. He then told Josh that Josh was failing in his role [as financial provider] since we were geographically constrained by my job.

I interjected that I would much rather work than be at home doing nothing. The priest responded that I should have children and stay home with them. I replied that God is in control of that. The priest agreed and then suggested that I should spend more time shopping to keep busy, and Josh could spend more time working.

After mass the deacon was handing out blessed flowers to the mothers. As I walked by without taking one the priest questioned the fact that I did not have a flower. I responded that I do not have any children. The deacon confidently added “yet” and the priest countered that I was a wife. I continued walking as this conversation took place and left the church without a flower.

In the car I told Josh that while the priest’s gesture would have been perfectly pastoral for some women struggling with Mother’s Day jealousy, I really, really don’t think that the nurturing associated with being a wife is the same as being a mother! And I wonder what he would have told a single woman? “Oh, but you take care of your pets/houseplants!”

Back at Josh’s parents house I informed his mother that I am a failure in my role as a wife because I don’t know how to fill my time with shopping. She said that the priest was clearly giving advice based on what he sees, and that it works well for many of the couples around here.

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22 Responses to “Mother’s Day Fun”

  1. Thom sfo 08. May, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

    I’m appalled that that priest actually said those things to you. smh. I can’t imagine why our generation is leaving the Church in droves.

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:50 pm #

      In the church’s defense, I am quite confident that this particular priest has this particular assignment precisely because the bishop knows what he is like and is trying to keep him from causing harm. The priest in question also talked to us the Christmas before last about how he didn’t understand why young people go to church… sweet irony.

      • Katie 11. May, 2011 at 8:46 pm #

        I think I’ve met him…well, a priest like him anyway. However, I’ve met dynamic priests who asked the same question and then did something about it. Eech, though. Priests need our prayers! Thank you for reminding me of this, Rae. Just as I was thinking I didn’t have any prayer intentions tonight.

  2. Kathleen 09. May, 2011 at 3:45 am #

    Oh, my. Poor girl. Your post makes me wonder so many things that you left *un*said, but I’m guessing your reactions probably can’t be made public. :)

    BTW, I haven’t been commenting lately b/c I still keep getting that virus-y thing. I try periodically and today I got through, so yay!

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

      Oh, I thought it was quite amusing and you probably know exactly what I was thinking since it is the same sort of snark that I typically post.

      And I am sorry about the stupid virus-y thing. I am working on some drastic measures since I can’t figure out the cause from usual sources. Thanks for the comment!

  3. Michelle 09. May, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    Hmmm. That is quite crazy. I’m sorry you had to endure that on Mother’s Day. sometimes people are trying to help, but they are all wrong in how they go about it.

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

      Thanks! Thankfully it wasn’t actually “enduring” for me. I was actually glad that it was me rather than someone else in that position though!

  4. Joy 09. May, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Congratulations on being authentically yourself and seeing the humor in a strained situation.

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:54 pm #

      :-) Thanks.

  5. Princess Christy 09. May, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Oh goodness…. I’m so glad no one tried to with me a happy mother’s day. I can’t imagine having a priest insist I should be doing more SHOPPING of all things!

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:55 pm #

      Haha, I can only imagine what you would have said!

  6. alison 09. May, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

    i would love to meet this priest…he sounds unreal. so josh should spend his time making the money and you should spend your time spending it? the sacred marriage covenant.

    and i am not a fan of watered down mother’s days either. and actually, i thought it strange last year at Father’s day when the priest asked all the men to stand up. if anything needs reinforcing and celebrating more than mothers, its probably fathers.

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

      That is funny about that Father’s Day. I can sort of see the idea behind it, but I wonder how many non-fathers even care at all?

  7. Kacie 10. May, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    Urgh. Last week I got four emails about needing to stay at home full-time. It’s not that I’m against staying at home full time, I’m all for it. It’s just not possible right now.

    I hate it when people generalize a best possible scenario that isn’t possible for a great many people…

    • Rae 10. May, 2011 at 6:00 pm #

      That is horrible! I am sorry. I think that you would be an awesome full-time SAHM, but it is incredibly inappropriate for people to try to pressure you into something that isn’t even an option for you!

      I really don’t think that it would be the best option for me anyway, but again, even if it were, it’s not an option in my control right now!

  8. Claire 11. May, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Wait, wait. He actually said that you should spend more time shopping to “keep busy”? Lordy.

    You are right, that is more funny than offensive. I am glad that you published this publicly so we can all laugh at this man. Because he deserves it, poor (clueless) fellow.

  9. Katie 11. May, 2011 at 8:49 pm #

    Ooh, had to add…

    A stay at home wife’s vocation is SHOPPING? Sign. Me. Up.

    • Thom sfo 11. May, 2011 at 8:50 pm #

      Can I be a stay at home wife? Shopping rocks.

  10. Rae 15. May, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

    Silly, Thom! Don’t you know that only women can shop? It is part of the essential difference between men and women and why women have to be wives and stay at home. I’m surprised you don’t already know this!

    • Thom sfo 15. May, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

      Sigh, I’m still learning all the rules. grrrr

  11. Mary 16. May, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

    If i filled in my time shopping instead of working, my husband would probably need to work three times as much to help cover the budget.

    • Rae 16. May, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

      No kidding! Besides, I’m an efficient shopper. It doesn’t take me many hours to spend a lot of money. 😉

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