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Contraceptive Mentality and Sexual Desire | Catholic Life

Contraceptive Mentality and Sexual Desire

The vast majority of people whom I’ve seen discuss “using NFP with a contraceptive mentality” are women, and the few men whom I’ve heard take that view are unmarried.

Which leads me to a thought: healthy married men enjoy sex. Hence they are aware of the difficulty of abstinence, and the laughability of our excessive focus on how exactly married couples may enjoy conjugal intercourse during times of low fertility.

There are, of course, always a few exceptions. But these seem to me to come from those who have at least some guilt over their lack of self-control, and so seek to justify it by condemning others for a practice which not only requires self-control, but results in a better (at least in the immediate sense–I do not imply that children themselves are ever anything less than good) situation overall.

So, maybe, just maybe we should all chill out in our condemnations and recognize a bit of reality. Married couples are naturally oriented toward conjugal intercourse. Sexual abstinence is not easy. And apparently neither is charity in understanding the struggles of marriage.

If a couple has a contraceptive mentality, then they will engage in contraception. Nothing is gained from misusing the Church’s terms in order to condemn those who follow Christ in a way which is unfamiliar to us.

If your libido is low enough that abstaining unjustly seems like a real danger for you, then embrace God’s gift to you and spend time in prayer and fasting for those who have more common struggles.

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2 Responses to “Contraceptive Mentality and Sexual Desire”

  1. Anonymous 23. Jan, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

    Yes yes yes !!!!

  2. Michelle 24. Jan, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    Amen! You know, I have learned through the last few years of my husband working nights just how amazing it is that we’ve been able to find time to have more children…I mean, I go to bed without my husband 5 nights a week and the two nights he is home, it’s difficult for me to have the energy sometimes.

    but, if he and I were on the same schedule, I could see it being a much larger sacrifice to be abstinent and avoid like we have in between our blessings. I guess perspective is really a big part of the equation.

    Thanks for the post!

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